Decisions

I’ve decided to face the biggest decision in my nearly twenty one years and get the cancer genetic test as my mum had ovarian cancer nearly seven years ago and there is a high risk of breast cancer in my family. I’d rather know what I’m facing and decide whether to go ahead and have any of the operations if it is found for me to have either of the genes.

I have two brothers and my mum mentioned this to them and one said he would rather not know, we are all different but would you find out if you could?

This could be life changing and I don’t have a partner around to help me or support me but I have my families support of course. I worry if I am found to have one strand or the other of the gene and for example have a mastectomy and reconstruction would I be less attractive, would any man want me?

There’s so many questions and no one has the answers but I know I want to have it done.

Watching my mum every year go for her consultant appointments rips me apart I’d happily take this burden from her and live with it myself if I could and this test will give me a clearer picture about if I’m higher risk and what I can do to prevent it or lessen the risk.

It’s currently a big story on Eastenders and this is what has made my mum and I think because she’s only young (early forties) and she’s lucky and has survived as was caught early enough but I want to prepare myself for the chance of it happening to me and this means writing my will. I never thought I’d write one until I was “old” but I need to do it to make sure Ethan is safe and with my parents if anything does happen in the future.

Have you written your will?

My dad hasn’t and my mum hasn’t updated hers isn’t it something we should all do and update regularly?

I expected the doctor to say it couldn’t be done or I’m too young or just a reason for it not to be done but when mum said today that the doctor said I can get it done it has hit me for six but something like this isn’t meant to be easy is it or everyone would do it surely?

Tomorrow I book my doctors appointment to get the bloods done and based on my usual doctors waiting times it will probably be 2-4 weeks before my appointment time to gather more information on the cancer history in my family.

The To Do List

I am like most people I set myself challenges of things I want to do before the years out and this included learning to crochet, knit and finish the baby quilt well tonight I got one step closer to finishing the baby quilt I sewed together the separate ones and then the rows it’s 78 squares and I’m doing a strip of fabric down each side and the same fabric on the back not quite sure what colour just yet! This is the first sewing machine I’ve ever owned and we have had our moments of it eating my fabric and not working but we have managed and it’s not perfect no where near but I love it and am proud! It’s all fabric from Ethan’s baby clothes sizes from tiny baby to 9-12 months and I will hang it on Ethan’s wall when he’s older as it will only fit his cot bed for a short time.

20140406-223523.jpg

20140406-223530.jpg

20140406-223518.jpg

20140406-223535.jpg

20140406-223540.jpg

Always Listen

Today I was at the bus stop with an elderly man and he kept chatting to me saying bits and bobs and asking if I was local I often get people chatting to me today I wished elderly people would stop talking to me I just want to listen my music and rest my voice (tonsillitis has caused me to loose it numerous times) and then he told me he will be 88 this year and lost his wife last year I started to listen to him and he said that they met when he was 18 and then got called up to the army and after the war finished he signed up to the Indian army where he got blown up and damaged his knee and I didn’t get to hear anymore as the bus arrived.

I’m disappointed I didn’t get to hear anymore I wanted to know more and it made me think we never stop and listen anymore we are always so busy to get stuff done either going somewhere or playing on our smartphones listen to everyone’s stories because when your little one asks about their great grandad and the war you will have a story to tell them instead of saying I never asked or I never listened.

Take that five minutes to listen I hope to catch him in two weeks time and ask for the rest of the story!